Right now, I want to be in Bombay on a supremely wet monsoon day, indoors, drinking coffee.

KENT / 23 AUGUST: Nearly two months after his vicious blogjacking at the hands of a rapacious chinaman, The Sporadic Blogger Still Known As Sac (TSBSKAS) has ventured into the 'sphere again.

When asked to explain his bizarre choice of URL, he said with a call-centre brogue, "Er see, it's like, sick in the head, y'know? Only, sicker!"

He then coughed a lot, leading our young summer intern to bet one shift of tea-duty that he added, "Choices, ha! Blogspot today is like Hotmail ten years ago! Gnarf!!!"

TSBSKAS is reputed to be looking to increase his posting frequency, which was just about once a month prior to the assault. When asked how many times a week he intended to post now, he cryptically spat, "Kiss my Gan!"